I informed my readers last week that I would be attending Couchella this year via the official YouTube stream, and there’s truthfully no better way to take in all of what the festival has to offer. (I mean, you can literally watch four performances simultaneously while surfing social media—beat that!).
But just because I wasn’t there doesn’t mean I don’t get to have takes! In fact, I would argue that Couchella takes are generally more relevant to the general public than the takes of a festival attendee. How many artists do you really watch when you’re there? Most of the time you’re just waiting in line for a disgusting porta-potty. Or way too high on really good dr*gs!
Plus, you can relive all of the moments here, on this beautiful internet we call home. So here they are: five of the best moments I saw/streamed/read about, and five of the worst, from this year’s Coachella weekend one.
I flipped:
1. Jack White’s Surprise Set
Jack White‘s last-minute add was a blessing for a fest that has become less and less rock-centric as the years go by. His 3PM Mojave tent set was the festival equivalent of an underplay—leveraged to maximize fan engagement and energy.
Not even a headliner (although worthy), and one of the festival’s most energetic, raw, and authentic performances. That’s a win in my book.
White just announced a U.S. tour—don’t miss it (if a Coachella weekend two is not in the cards for you).
2. Turnstile Dad’s Intro
In light of the recent news of Turnstile’s ex-guitarist reportedly running over vocalist Brendan Yates’ dad with his car, Turnstile’s set started out on a poignant note with a video message from the man himself:
“I’m Bill Yates, I’m the proud father of Brendan. They’re all sons of mine. They’ve been practicing at the house for about 13 years now. Just recently, they grew too big for the basement. And finally, after a dozen years practically, they’re at a point where, the larger the venue the better, because they just enjoy the energy. All the fans out there, we love you, and Turnstile loves you. And enjoy the ride.”
Then the band ripped into one of the most raucous sets the festival has seen in its 20+ years.
3. Nine Inch Noize Zombie Rave
Fans were freakin’ stoked when Nine Inch Nails and Boys Noize announced a Nine Inch Noize set at Coachella. The collaboration, which has its origins in the B-stage section of last year’s Peel It Back Tour, has become a full-fledged sensation, and this year’s Coachella performance upped the ante.
Fans expecting basically a glorified DJ set were wowed as NIN performed reworked versions of their songs while creepy zombies writhed about the stage. Genuinely scary, and genuinely awesome.
The pair of artists also announced a Nine Inch Noize LP, out this Friday. Can we expect a full Nine Inch Noize tour to announce this year? Let’s hope so.
4. Bieber Covers Bieber
In what I think is one of the coolest artist moves, maybe ever, Justin Bieber performed what has been called a “really weird,” “messy,” and “not focused” set by various outlets—by setting up his laptop and singing along with YouTube videos OF HIMSELF.
Critics, have you never heard of postmodernism? Like, have you never heard of art? Like…
My man was making a STATEMENT, not being lazy. Besides, when you have a nearly 20 year career under your belt by age 32, laziness can be an art in and of itself. So what if he was!? Justin, you’ve given these people enough.
5. The Strokes’ Jokes
The Strokes manage to stay relevant for years and years on end, a rare feat for a rock band! And even though their set was mostly throwbacks, they performed their new single, “Going Shopping,” which offers a fair bit of the band’s political POV.
And if that wasn’t enough, lead singer Julian Casablancas quipped his way through the set, making blackpilled references to a U.S. military draft, and joking about “opening for Justin Bieber” to a crowd of Bieber’s eagerly waiting fans, all while wearing a shirt emblazoned with the Amazon Prime logo, reading instead, “crime.”
The Strokes are another legacy act going on tour in 2026. Get your tickets to the Reality Awaits tour to see them live in concert this year.
They Flopped:
1. Sabrina Carpenter Was Boring (and Did Something Racist. Oops!)
Don’t call me a Rockist! (I know I’m a Rockist.) I like Sabrina Carpenter—I really do! But despite the fact that her set was designed for Couchella, in much the same way that Bad Bunny’s Superbowl performance was made for TV (and looked like trash in person), it was just boring to watch.
The video segments were too long, there was no band (I know, I’m a rockist) and it relied more on sets and artwork than it did actual performances. The set design was so overwrought, in fact, that fans theorized it may have caused Anyma, who was slated to follow Carpenter, to cancel outright.
Oh, and you would have already read elsewhere that Sabrina had a really weird and tone-deaf reaction to a fan doing a Zaghrouta, a type of Arabic celebratory cheer, during her set. There’s no excuse for someone that wealthy to be that uncultured, IMO. But I guess she stays busy working on her singing, which is good! She was flamed, she apologized, we’re all good here.
2. Anyma Cancels
Relevant to the above Sabrina Carpenter story: EDM star Anyma was forced to cancel his entire set, reportedly due to high winds. No big loss for me—but a bummer for his fans, to be sure.
“I’m sorry everyone,” Anyma shared in a post. “We’ve done everything in our control to build the show I’ve worked an entire year on. Safety always comes first and we’re working on a solution now.”
That’s not all, though—yet more fans were led to theorize that “the incident at the DoLab spooked GV (Goldenvoice)”, causing them to cancel the set out of safety concerns. What incident at the DoLab, you ask?
3. A Big Ass Light Fell on Someone’s Head
According to this report, “A piece of lighting equipment had tumbled from the stage, hitting a woman” in the DoLab, an EDM-centric tent venue, while John Summit was performing. Need I say more? That sucks. We hope for her speedy recovery!
4. Geese Covers Justin Bieber
This the type of shit I would have thought was real cheeky and real subversive when I was about 15. (Rock band covers Justin Bieber? Tired. Justin Bieber covers Justin Bieber? Wired!)
Don’t get me wrong: “Baby” is a good song and it is sung well enough by Cameron Winter, who I do think is a great rock singer. I just think The Strokes and Justin Bieber both made this joke too, only better.
5. Random Male Model Upstages Rock Legend
Fake rock singer sombr inexplicably brought actual rock singer Billy Corgan onstage for a performance of one of the most iconic Smashing Pumpkins songs. Why? It’s possible the media-savvy Corgan anticipated a viral moment. It’s just as likely that the artists’ management did the same. Sigh.
But seeing the (undisputed) Mewing Hall-of-Famer and (alleged) industry plant belt out the chorus of 1979 alongside the Smashing Pumpkins frontman was just too much for this unc to handle. (And I’m not even Gen X!)
Oh, honey. That’s not even the worst of it: sombr fans were “confused” and “underwhelmed” by Corgan’s appearance. Yeah. Not the other way around. Figure that one out.
But if you’re a fan, don’t let me stop you! sombr just announced an extensive tour for 2026. Get your tix below.
What wonders does weekend 2 hold in store for us? I, for one, can’t wait to find out.
